iREVIEW – Goat Simulator – More Than Just Explosions and Dubstep Music

What is Goat Simulator? Is it even a game? Or a sandbox physics simulator? What’s the story? I’m confused.

Title: Goat Simulator
Developer: Coffee Stain Studios (Double Eleven – 360 and One)
Platform: Windows, Mac, Linux, iOS, Android, Xbox 360 & One
Reviewed on: Xbox One

Is it fun to play?
Yes.
Is it funny?
Yes.
Well then what is it?
Ummm . . .

Goat Simulator, at its most primitive, is an open-world, third-person perspective action game. Similar to Tony Hawk skateboarding games, you’re dropped into an open area, with notable key areas, and then given the task of creating your own fun through experimentation.

The Latest in Goat Simulation Technology

The Latest in Goat Simulation Technology

Major deviation, is you are a goat, aimed at doing as much damage as possible in this world, without any larger goals or aspirations.

Initially developed at Coffee Stains Studio as a joke prototype during an internal game jam and shown off on YouTube, Goat Simulator started to gain traction and excitement just from the ridiculousness of it all. Due to the popularity of the YouTube videos, the studio was prompted to build the game out to a state where it could be released as a stand-alone. Obviously the game was buggy in alpha, and a lot of these bugs added to the humour and entertainment, so they were retained in the release product.

Most notably of these bugs or glitches is the goat’s head and neck. It is very floppy and gets caught on objects easily, sometimes to the point where it doesn’t seem attached to the body anymore.

The game was originally released on Steam, to the community, and was received pretty well; some praising the title for its originality and its humourous sandbox mode, others criticizing it as a simple, buggy product that somehow became popular through social media. Coffee Stains Studio isn’t complaining though, as it made back its development budget within hours of the game’s release, and saw more success than some of its other, non-accidental, titles.

YOU PLAY A GOAT, OBVIOUSLY

Going back to the game itself, you play a goat, obviously. You spawn in an open-ended suburban setting, and left to explore, jump, run, headbutt things, and lick objects. Licking objects will attach the goat’s tongue to said object, and lets you drag the object around.

The game also supports a ragdoll mode and slow-motion mode. At any time the player can drop the goat into ragdoll mode which allows the physics engine to take over. Slow-motion, obviously makes the game mode slower and allows more finesse while doing tricks, or more time to laugh as the physics engine does what it does best.

And the suburban environment we’re placed in allows the goat to pull off tricks or stunts – similar to a skating game – with chaining tricks together for added points. We have trampolines, mattresses and industrial fans to jump off, walls to run up, or fences to crash through. Some of the in-game goals are displayed as a checklist, meant as a type of progress report for the player throughout the game. These include destroying certain objects, or completing flips, or even doing a “manual” – walking on the goat’s front lets for a specific distance.

2488793-4

The collectibles scattered throughout the game, when collected, will allow certain modifiers to the goat, such as playing as a demon goat, or a giraffe (long-necked goat), or even an ostrich.

The game is very good at poking fun at itself, while also including a lot of winks to pop culture references, and other games. Even the original trailer itself was a parody of the Dead Island trailer – showing shots of the game, reversed and in slow-motion.

PLAY AS A DEMON GOAT, OR A GIRAFFE
(LONG-NECKED GOAT)

The game is fun for a while. It includes some very easy achievements, and may have you coming back for the collectibles, trying to find hidden Easter eggs, and of course, the laughs. It’s more than a simple joke game though – more akin to a brief distraction game. Short in content, with only two worlds, but it has its own version of Flappy Bird to keep you frustrated for hours.

For those who liked playing in the sandbox, wall running, general mayhem or slow-motion . . . things.

Notable Achievements:
Alexander Goatstafsson (Win the title boat!) – 15G
Devil Goat (We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell) – 30G

-iRogan

WHAT I’M PLAYING – BattleCry: Far-Goat Simulator

Over the weekend I started playing Goat Simulator and quite enjoyed the time I spent in Goat Ville. The game is essentially just a fun physics engine, with a goat as the lead. There are a lot of fun little jokes scattered throughout, with a lot of winks towards popular memes and pop culture news.

Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology.

Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology.

I probably won’t be playing the game that long though. I got it primarily for the achievements, which are pretty easy, and the lol’s. So once those are acquired, I don’t see myself playing the game much more.

The game was originally designed as a joke, internally in the Coffee Stains studio, during a one month game-jam, and a video was posted online for a laugh. It gathered such a following that the group decided to polish, and release it. The developer stated the game was designed as “an old school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you’re a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff”.

Originally released last year on Steam, the game has since been released on other operating systems, and mobile. The release on the Xbox 360 and Xbox One was its first time on a console.

Keep an eye out for the review.

Lately I had been spending a lot of time on the FPS genre, and I’ve had a hard time sticking with one title. I had originally started Far Cry 4 and then Battlefield: Hardline was released. I played Hardline during the EA Access window, and then didn’t go back, relegated to the backburner.

After I needed a little break from Far Cry 4 I jumped into Call of Duty Ghosts. I quickly wrapped that up within a couple sittings. I need to quickly jump back in to get a few achievements and then I’ll jump back to Far Cry 4 for the remainder of the week.

Battlefield_HardlineThis past weekend I did jump into Hardline while I was testing some Twitch Streaming and game recording, and managed to complete a few more of the story campaign missions. I think this weekend I’ll play more of that as well, but I am definitely falling behind on Far Cry 4Hardline has been fun, but it definitely is not a Battlefield game.  It’s primarily stealth based, and when its not, its a difficult shooter – as a cop, I guess you’re not really meant to shoot people, or absorb bullets. Ammo is limited, and the shootouts are intense, as they’re typically in claustrophobic areas, normally not pre-meditated, but defensive, stressful, and usually outnumbered shootouts. If that’s the intent, its pulled off well.

The single player does look pretty good, but sadly not as good as its Battlefield predecessor in any aspects but the cut-scenes. Single player luckily does look better than the multiplayer, but that component, while it does hold its own, still doesn’t feel as immersive as Battlefield 4.


Other newer/older/other games on the horizon:

NeverWinter is free to play, so I might give that a shot, even though my previous post a week or so ago said I would never. We’ll see. I said “never” to Goat Simulator too, and see what happened?

Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: China has been released, and acquired, so I’ll be playing that. I also have Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag to play more, and GTA V (Xbox One) to play and take lovely photos in.

Borderlands: The Handsome Collection is waiting. I’ve started with the Pre-Sequel in co-op, so I’ll have to spend more time on Pandora. But again, it’s another FPS, a genre that I’m pretty burnt out on.

Besides that, I have quite the backlog of games I haven’t even opened yet – waiting, eager – on my shelf, or digital library. All in due time games, all in due time:

Metro Redux, TellTale Bundle (Borderlands, Game of Thrones, Wolf Among Us), Shadow of Mordor.  So many :'(.


Keep an eye out for more Far Cry 4, and Battlefield: Hardline info, screenshots and reviews soon, and Goat Simulator review tomorrow. New feature: Achievement of the Week, on Sunday

NEWS – New Game Tuesday and New News Tuesday

Welcome to Tuesday. We got some new games and some news.


Big releases this week are Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: China, and Goat Simulator. 

And the big news includes: Write/Director Leaves Gearbox, New Microsoft IP, Steam Features, Halo 5:Guardians, Alan Wake Sequel?, Gears of War Cinematic Director Leaves Epic for Black Tusk, Destiny, and this week’s Xbox Deals With Gold.


assassin_s_creed_chronicles_china

Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: China (PS4, PS3, XBox One, PC) – Chronicles is a series of 2.5D Assassin’s Creed games developed by Climax Studios, and published by Ubisoft. The games will feature a new protagonist. China’s protagonist is Jun, who was trained by Ezio Auditore.

The follow up games later this year will be Chronicles: India, and Chronicles: Russia.

 

Release Trailer below shows the story and gameplay. I’ll be picking this up shortly and playing through it. The art style and gameplay looks intriguing, and I’m all about the Assassin’s Creed titles.

goats

Goat Simulator (XBox One, XBox 360) – Finally released on all the Xboxs, Goat Simulator is here. I played some over the weekend, and I’ll be talking more about it tomorrow, with a review on Thursday.

Trailer


On to some news for Tuesday:

Writer/Director Leaves Gearbox

Matthew Armstrong has left Gearbox Software. Credited as a writer and game design director of Borderlands.

“Things changed. No longer working at @GearboxSoftware. I will always love Gearbox, but it’s adventure time.”

New Microsoft IP at E3 2015

Xbox head Phil Spencer announced that new exclusive IP would be announced this June at E3 2015. He confirmed that it would not be another military space marine game or racing title.

I’m excited about E3. And I’ll be live blogging the day of the press conferences, June 15. So look out for that.

Steam Features Unlocked to Paying Customers

Valve announced that, in a move to protect its customers against spamming and phishing, it would be locking some of its features to all but paying customers.

Users who have not spent the $5 will not have access to features such as sending friend invites, voting on Greenlight, or submitting content on the Steam workshop.

New Halo 5: Guardians Trailer

Regardless of the fact that its a trailer announcing pre-order bonuses, it is a pretty cool gameplay trailer showing off new weapons and abilities. The trailer focuses on Spartan Locke taking out Covenant in pursuit of Master Chief.

Alan Wake Sequel Possibilities

Remedy has announced that even though the Alan Wake 2 sequel project was scrapped, a prototype was created after the first was released. The company opted to work on their next game Quantum Break instead. But the possibilities are still there.

“For Alan Wake, from the get-go, we assumed there was going to be a sequel and we mapped things further out when it came to character, story, details and focus changes. We knew we would have to iterate and refine, but there was always a rough road map there.”

Remedy is 100 percent focused on the upcoming Xbox One exclusive Quantum Break, which was just recently delayed until 2016.

Epic Cinematic Director Leaves Epic

Greg M. Mitchell, who was previously responsible for the cinematics in the Gears of War franchise, has left Epic Games to join Black Tusk Studios, to most likely work on, yup, cinematics, on the next Gears of War game. Way to branch out.

“BIG NEWS!! I’m leaving Epic, but heading to @blacktuskstudio to work on #Gearsofwar!! I’ll quote Marcus Fenix, by saying “NICE!!” :)”

Destiny’s House of Wolves Reveal Trailer

Destiny has launched a newer trailer showing off some new information about the upcoming DLC House of Wolves: New social space, new characters, new gear upgrades.

There’ll be a Twitch reveal tomorrow.

XBox Deals With Gold

Mostly Call of Duty games this week on sale. Maybe it’s time to get Advanced Warfare? Let’s see . . . (nope):

Call of Duty: Ghosts and Ghosts Hardened Edition are 60% and 40% off on the Xbox One, respectfully, and Never Alone is 40% off. Ghost review is upcoming, and check out the review for Never Alone here.

Ghosts, Black Ops II, and COD 3 are on sale as well, on the Xbox 360.


That’s all for today. Check in tomorrow for thoughts and impressions of Goat Simulator, and Thursday for the review.

It’s raining, so don’t go outside.

-iRogan

NEWS – And the Monday’s Have It…

So I was finally able to export some of the screenshots from my time in Far Cry 4. Sadly, I haven’t gotten around to completing the game, but I’m getting there. The only frustrating thing so far with the Upload studio on the Xbox One, is you’re only able to Upload one photo at a time. This alone, coupled with the fact that I had approx 300 screenshots saved, was quite time consuming. I’ll have to make an effort to export them daily, instead of building up a queue. Check out the screenshots here.


Moving onto some news for the week: Star Wars, Cities: Skylines, Destiny, Dues Ex, EA’s Free-To-Play, 2K Australia,

Star Wars Battlefront

Lots of news came out over the weekend regarding all things Star Wars. Check out the launch trailer below. The game will be first available to Xbox One users who have EA Access (me), so that’s exciting. The game looks really exciting, although disappointing is the exclusion of any type of campaign. There are smaller co-op/split-screen missions that can be played, but the main point of the game will be the large scale battles online. Also excluded are any type of space battles as all flying segments will take place in-atmosphere. Also announced was that this game with be the original trilogy, before the prequel era.

The first 4 planets were revealed to be Endor, Tatooine, Hoth, and a previously unexplored planet Sullust.

First DLC will be free for those who pre-order, and will be The Battle of Jakku, from the new movie, The Force Awakens.

Release date November 17th, 2015, PC, PS4, and Xbox One.

Cities: Skylines

Paradox Interactive announced that Cities: Skylines has sold 1 million copies within the first month. This is obviously exciting news for the brand and genre. I should get back into my city, as I’ve been neglecting it.

6GB Destiny Patch

Destiny’s latest patch, 1.12 is a whopping 6GB. Included in the fix is some online multiplayer changes, bug fixes to the Raid bosses, and a new Colourblind mode. The House of Wolves Expansion is just around the corner, dropping on May 19th.

More on the patch, Data miners have discovered the plans for two more social spaces to be added to Destiny. To be included in the Expansion, or at a later date, who knows?

Dues Ex: Ghost Mode

The director of Dues Ex: Mankind Divided announced last week that the ghost option will be available throughout entire levels and even the boss fights. Ghost option is the ability to make it past all enemies and levels completely unseen.

EA’s Free2Play Games Getting Shut Down

EA announced that they will be stopping development and support for several of their free-to-play games, including: Battlefield Heroes, Need for Speed World, FIFA World, and Battlefield Play 4 Free.

They did announce, however, new story content and continued support  for Star Wars: The Old Republic.

2K Australia Closing

The Borderland: The Pre-Sequel developer has been announced to be closing. 2K Australia is Australia’s only remaining AAA studio. Previously they were apart of Irrational Games,, best know for the Bioshock series.

“We can confirm we have taken steps to begin the studio closure process for 2K Australia in order to better manage ongoing development costs while improving the working proximity of our creative teams.  We are very grateful for the team’s valuable contributions to numerous 2K projects, and are working with affected staff to explore reassignment opportunities where possible.”


Stick around for the new game releases tomorrow, we’ll talk more about Goat Simulator, Battlefield Hardline, and Far Cry 4 on Wednesday, and I’ll have a quick review up for Goat Simulator on Thursday.

Going outside now….

-iRogan

SHORT – Through the Looking Glass

This is a short story about the frustrations of co-op gaming. In this case, within Sniper Elite III.

The STEN MK II weighs a ton on my back, resting between my shoulder blades. I’m in the sniper nest, prone, in this god-forsaken desert, and I can’t breathe because of this gear. I’m choking on this dust, as I lie here for what feels like hours. I’m a sniper, you see.

"2 lines you should never cross....horizontal and vertical"

“2 lines you should never cross….horizontal and vertical”

A shot echoes off the rocky hills and I know that ILLESTRADER has removed another enemy. I hold my breath for 2 seconds, willing my senses to feel the enemies around us, to see if they’ve noticed. Squinting through my binoculars, I watch the men at the tent continue their patrol.

Whew. 68BPM.

The headset buzzes. “Are you in the nest?

I am. But I don’t respond. The stock of the M1 GARAND is nestled against my shoulder. I suck in and hold my breath anticipating the buck.

73BPM.

The soldier in my sights finishes his patrol along the fence line and lights up a cigarette and I take my-

BANG!

-shot. The world slows and spins as the bullet explodes from the barrel. 68 meters. Headshot. Not bad.

Nice” the headset buzzes again. I exhale.

70BPM.

Two more targets get tagged through my HUD, and I have my binoculars out again. ILLESTRADER is prone underneath a truck spotting the camp ahead. Two soldiers are sitting around the camp fire, settled in the weathered remains of some house. A third I can see coming down the rocky slope. He’s 110 meters out, but at this angle the trees are in the way.

I groan as I get to my feet, stiff. The dust is sticking to me in this heat and I don’t have any water. I try to clear my throat as I jump down the ladder.

Shit, shit, shit!” The voice screams through my headset, and the chatter of gunfire echoes off the stones. ILLESTRADER must’ve been seen. The alarms start and suddenly the canyon has come alive. I don’t think I’ve been seen yet but I know they’re looking.

Sitting behind some sandbags, I go to check my map, but a jeep pulls up, and a soldier on his walkie-talkie steps out. I lay the M1 down and check my MK II. 32 bullets. I raise the gun over the bags and spray him with MK II fire, and he goes down before he can see me.

90BPM.

I’m sure they know where I am now. “Idiot.” I curse ILLESTRADER as I vault over the next set of sandbags, heading towards our objective. “Where are you?

I’m Fine, by the way-” More gunfire. “So much for stealth, eh?” He laughs.

God damn it, I hate it how he makes my life so difficult. I wish I didn’t have to rely on him so heavily, but I know he’s the better shot. Stealth just doesn’t suit him. The alarms are still ringing but I don’t see any more movement. This area must be clear. I know the Commander is in the next canyon. So says the map. But we’ll need to get through the tunnels up ahead. At least it’ll be cool there.

ILLESTRADER steps over his kills and heads up the path. I stop, check them for ammo, smirking, knowing he’ll complain about his own ammo shortages soon enough. I reload the MK II and head on through the dark, chilled tunnel and reach the bloom lighting at the other end.

I find him on his stomach with the binoculars out, tagging enemies. Two guys already dead, beside him, at the opening to the tunnel. I crouch, bring out my map and look for the closest sniper nest. This new area seems pretty quiet. I guess these guys didn’t hear the gunfire, or get the message that we killed all their buddies.

I head off, up the nearest path, sticking to the bushes.

"A sniper is the worst romancer, they never make the first move"

“A sniper is the worst romancer, they never make the first move”

60BPM.

I’m at the sniper nest when I hear ILLESTRADER finally chirp up, “OK, so I think I’ll head off to the left and take out the two near the tent and you can head towards the—oh you’re already at the nest…

As I climb the steps, I start to wonder if me, doing my own thing, my lack of patience with him makes him angry, if maybe I need to work on my communication. I think the only reason I’m here in this desert is because he’s here, for better or for worse. ILLESTRADER, the friendly nametag proudly proclaims above his head. Wherever I find myself, he’s somewhere near.

I’m moving the boards out of the way and going prone, stabilizing the M1 when I lose interest again. My main focus is the objective ahead. My Commander gave me a gun and maps, said go here, and kill this guy, finish the Objective. So I’m here, not really aware of where here is. Somewhere bland and hot.

Sliding another round in the M1 chamber, I right the gun. Looking through the scope, I spot the three sentry units that ILLESTRADER has tagged. I dial the scope to 150 meters. This’ll be quite the shot, I think to myself, from my safe little window on the world.

Deep breath and hold. 70BPM.

I squeeze the-

BANG!

-trigger. The gun bucks up, I lose sight of the sentries briefly, but I don’t exhale. The gun steadies and two soldiers remain.

80BPM.

They heard the echo but they didn’t see their buddy go down. I line up the next one, smoothly ejecting the bullet, clearing the chamber. The world is still moving in slow motion, everything blurs outside my scope, but this shot-

BANG!

-rings out clean. I exhale and inhale quickly.

90BPM.

The last guy is in complete shock as he wipes the remains of his friend’s face off his own. He’s dropped his gun and he’s green. He’s looking around frantically, afraid to move, when-

BANG!

-his body rag-dolls off the sentry post and falls to the ground below.

100BPM.

I get the notification that ILLESTRADER has taken out the Commander from 113 meters – “TOO SOON” I hear myself. Does he enjoy creating this chaos? Is it on purpose? – and suddenly all the alarms are blaring, the campgrounds around the sentry towers come alive with soldiers, who have also just located my recent kill. I’m-

Everything around me explodes in gunfire. You hear it before you see it, but not by much. Then you can’t see anything at all, and pretty soon you can’t hear anything either.

110BPM.

I leap off the sniper nest, and roll when I hit the ground. I have no idea where the shots came from, or even if there’s any cover nearby – all I can sense is a hot beige world of loud noises. I get up and immediately come face to face with a scout who was searching for me. I wrestle out the easiest gun I can find. My WELROD comes up and I shoot him in the face. Lucky. If I had missed, he for sure would have killed me mid-reload.

In retrospect he was probably more surprised to see me than I of him – he was probably there just to confirm the kill. It was a fair bet I was dead.

The bullets start up again and I’m grazed, but I’m not ducking this time. Weaving between tents and stone walls, I head towards my partner, breathing hard.

115BPM.

ILLESTRADER is down!

Shit, I’m down-

I’m sure he’s got his pistol out though, picking off anyone nearby. It’s up to me now, to reach him before they do. “I think my area is clear but it was a Sniper that-

BANG!

My world turns fuzzy and red and I’m hit square, and stagger – I didn’t hear anything else that ILLESTRADER said. I know he’s 20 meters away, indicated by my HUD, as I crumple against a wall. He’s got maybe 30 seconds for me to reach him before he bleeds out, and I don’t know where the shots are coming from. God damn it, I hope ILLESTRADER learns his lesson after this is done.

I check my gear. Close range, the MK II is my best bet to fight my way to him, but the sniper is my biggest concern.

Do you know where he is?” I ask eagerly, fumbling with my headset, and with some gauze and bandages. I don’t know how this will help me in this situation, but I start wrapping. I also know I need to relocate soon, as I’m likely getting surrounded just sitting here.

Nope,” he responds casually as I start to grind my teeth.

I leave a smoking grenade at my feet as I vault through the nearest doorway in ILLESTRADER’s direction. Meant as a distraction, the explosion was likely deafening but I don’t hear it or feel it. My HUD informs me that two enemies sure as HELL felt it. Gloriously and loudly I’m sure. A fantastic sight that I don’t have time to admire.

I reach ILLESTRADER and find him slumped over. I grab my medikit and start to revive him. He jumps up and heads towards the door of the shelter we’re in and-

BANG!

ILLESTRADER is down!

Jesus Christ! I frustratingly grab another medikit and revive him once more. He’s learned his lesson and he sticks beside me as shots thwack into the stone walls and a grenade explodes in the room above us.

98BPM.

Dusty and bloody, I limp to the door, crouching below the window. On the other end of the room a sentry enters and ILLESTRADER sticks a knife into his skull. He has his uses, I suppose, always has my back, even if it was his fault that we’re in this mess. I don’t thank him. Another failing of mine.

"One mans fate comes from another mans wait"

“One mans fate comes from another mans wait”

How many more are out there do you think?” He asks. “I’m out of ammo.

I laugh because my eyes are too clogged with dust to cry. At least One. The remaining sniper is out there, waiting, like I would be if I wasn’t here, trapped with my partner.

Head to the gates to meet the tanks, the route should be clear. I’ll take out the sniper and then we should be done.” I wish I could believe or stop myself from saying that.

I rest my M1 on the window and look out towards the canyon walls. The smoke from the grenade is still thick but I can just make out the gleaming white reflection off the enemy sniper’s scope. He’s prone, hidden. Smart.

My much-killed battle brother starts sprinting up the hill, which means the sniper will likely be tracking him. I have only a moment. Breathe. Slowly exhale. Aim small, hit small. Take the-

BANG!
BANG!

-shot. My bullet rips through the canyon and catches the sniper in the scope and tears through the eye socket. Bullet and glass makes a mess. Too late though.

ILLESTRADER is down!

Fuck! The kick from the gun leaves me woozy. Too much blood loss. My HUD tells me I need to relocate. But I can’t. We missed one of the targets. He’s in the room with his own MK II pressed coldly against my neck. This mission has not gone the way I’d-.

iROGAN is down!

100BPM.

83BPM.

41BPM

13BPM.

0BPM.

-iRogan

“This is my idiot.
There are many like him,
But this one is mine.”